Leave it to the funny folks at Saturday Night Live to solve the contentious fiscal cliff negotiations. In the show’s opening skit over the weekend, “President Obama” (played by Jay Pharoah) and John Boehner (played by Bill Hader) hold a joint press conference to announce an agreement to avoid the cliff.
“In order to get the support of the speaker, I agreed there would be no tax increases,” Pharoah’s Obama says. “Now why would I do that? I mean, I won the election. I had the leverage. Why give in? Well, simply put, I felt sorry for this man. I realize how badly the Republican party treats him when he even considers raising taxes.”
The president goes on to explain that Boehner was being tormented by fellow GOPers, who made him eat alone at the congressional cafeteria, threw his milk into the garbage … and much worse. “This man, this grown man, was pushed into the congressional ladies washroom naked from the waist down,” the president says. “They held him down and took his pants. And, he had to stand there, in front of his female colleagues, one hand covering his genitals, the other try to cover his butt crack, neither hand succeeding.”
SNL’s Obama proposed a deal: a 1 percent tax hike on the top two Americans – “just two people,” the president says – in exchange for dissolving Social Security. “Republicans, you win. You get want you want. But you leave this man alone. You leave this poor, orange man alone.”