Our 2015-2016 Premier League Preview: Team Guide
In the past half-decade, the Blues have surpassed Manchester United as the winner that everyone hates. They skyrocketed from mediocrity when they were purchased by the richest man in Russia in 2003, and no one will let them forget that. Additionally, their style of playing, which emphasizes defense and capitalizing on the mistakes of their opponents, can be tedious to watch, if brutally effective. Finally, in Portuguese Manager Jose Mourinho they have both a tactical genius and a master media troll.
Stars: Belgian Winger Eden Hazard is considered to be one of the players who might supplant the now 30-year-old Cristiano Ronaldo as best player in the world. Brit John Terry is personally detestable, but has marshalled a rock solid defense for over a decade.
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The other team with a mega-rich owner, Man City over-relied on their aging super-stars last season without adding fresh blood, and a formerly rock solid defense became suspiciously porous. This year, they’ll need to integrate some young blood to keep up with the pack.
Stars: Argentinian pretty-boy Sergio Aguerro was the leading scorer in the league last season despite missing a large chunk of the season due to ongoing hamstring problems. If he can stay healthy, he’s unstoppable. Newly purchased from Liverpool, Raheem Sterling looks to prove he was more than a big fish in a small(er) pond.
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The most infuriating team in the league, they are the Oberyn Martell of the EPL. Exotic, talented, sexy … and totally susceptible to a sucker punch from some big dumb brute that they totally underestimated. Every year could be Arsenal’s year, and every year injuries (and insufficient replacements for the injured players) take their toll. Will this be the year Arsenal stays healthy and goes the distance? We’ll believe it when we see it. (Can you tell they’re my team?)
Stars: Silky smooth German playmaker Mesut Ozil delivers the passes no one else can see. Chilean winger Alexis Sanchez is a non-stop dynamo of speed and wonder goals -- if only his passing were better…
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Still reeling from the 2013 departure of long-serving manager Sir Alex Ferguson, Man U went some way towards steadying the ship last season. Now coached by Louis van Gaal, the Red Devils look to continue this rehabilitation and have spent tons of money to make it happen this summer. There is still some worry that, for all the money spent, it hasn’t been enough nor in the right places.
Stars: Wayne Rooney spent most of last season shuffled to the midfield to accommodate foreign superstar strikers, but this season he’ll be back up front and center. Now the question remains, are his best days behind him?
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Before selling him to Real Madrid in 2013, Tottenham was exceptionally fortunate to have Welsh winger Gareth Bale in its ranks, but as Bale emerged as one of the best in the world, the bigger clubs with bigger dollars came calling. Tottenham sold him and tried to buy a whole new team with the proceeds. For various reasons this didn’t work. The team now seems to have settled into its status as “best of the rest,” but still probably need better attacking options.
Stars: Last season saw one of those feel good stories where a young British player came up through the youth system and massively over delivered. Hometown hero Harry Kane has a lot to do to prove last season wasn’t a fluke.
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Like Tottenham, Liverpool was rocked by the sale of a superstar who was always too good for the team. (Don’t ever tell Liverpool fans this. Pool fans still think it’s the 70s and their team is still the biggest and best). Serial biter Luis Suarez set sail for Barcelona and Liverpool couldn’t keep up the performances to match its bluster. Throw in the departure of longtime captain Steven Gerrard to the U.S. and that’s a lot of pressure on Liverpool’s new signings.
Stars: They’ve mostly left. New striker Christian Benteke is probably the best bet for a break-out player this season. Last season’s standouts, Emre Can and Philippe Coutinho, will hope to improve on their place in the league.
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Southampton has been something of a purist’s curiosity over the past couple of seasons. Following massive financial difficulties in the last decade, Southampton poured all of its funds into developing a youth system. Rather than buy stars, the team makes them. The downside of this is that the stars are usually purchased by bigger clubs before they hit their 25th birthday. Even so, Southampton has made an art form of doing well with a mixture of talented kids and canny signings purchased with the funds from the sales of last year’s kids. The team seems to endlessly rejuvenate, so let’s see if they can do it again.
Stars: They are something of the platonic ideal of a team, with many evenly matched contributors. But midfield wrecking ball Victor Wanyama and handsome striker Graziano Pelle stand out in the crowd.
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The league’s sole Welsh representative, the Swans have gone from underdogs to league stalwarts in four years, largely through the virtues of modest ambitions. They know they won’t win the league, and staying up and even finishing in the top 10 are considered victories.
Stars: Midfielder Jonjo Shelvey is one of those players that can be awesome one day and a train wreck the next. It also helps that he looks like someone who would start a bar fight. Striker Bafetimbi Gomis can also be devastating in spurts. Consistency from both or either would be a sight to behold.
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Talk about a team in the middle of a transformation. Previously known as a team of lumbering giants that won games through brute force rather than skill, the past few seasons have seen them bring in increasingly talented players (typically former wunderkinds who never quite matured as expected) and transition to a much more skillful team.
Stars: Last season’s surprise purchase was Bojan Krkic, this season it’s Ibrahim Afellay. It’s so odd to see former Barcelona players in the gritty world of Stoke.
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Another team that craves upper-mid table stability rather than a genuine title challenge, the Eagles have, in Alan Pardew, a manager whose reputation has been steadily growing over the past few seasons. The team hopes to have a drama-free season and possibly a chance at the Europa league tournament.
Stars: Yohan Cabaye rose to prominence playing for Pardew at Newcastle, and after an unsuccessful stint in Paris he’s been reunited with his old boss. Cabaye may not have been quite good enough for Paris Saint-Germain, but there is the sense that he will be the best player on Palace by a country mile.
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Everton. The other team in Liverpool, Everton has gained a reputation over the past few years as a team capable of punching above its weight. The season before last Everton made a real drive for a Champions League spot (4th or better) before ultimately running out of steam, which is why it was shocking that they struggled so much last season. Which Everton shows up this year? Young manager Roberto Martinez certainly hopes it’s the good one.
Stars: American goalkeeping hero Tim Howard continues his long association with the club. Promising young striker Romalu Lukaku will hope to improve on his lackluster 2014-2015 season.
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Another team whose fan base is larger than its win record would suggest, West Ham spent the past few seasons under the watch of Sam Allardyce, whose dull but effective strategy kept the team out of trouble but did little to endear him to fans. Croatian rockstar manager Slavin Billic takes over this year and it remains to be seen if he can deliver the attacking football the fans crave without sacrificing the defensive stability of the Allardyce era.
Stars: Ordinarily, Enner Valencia would be the pick here but since he’ll miss at least half of the season due to injury a lot falls on Andy Carroll. A few years ago, Carroll was another of England’s potential great white hopes. In an age of smooth passing and petite European superstars, the Brits desperately want to prove that a big, drunken oaf can still be a major force in the game, the way they were in the 70’s. They will continue to be disappointed.
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Until last season, West Brom was the very picture of mediocrity. Not bad enough to be a disaster, but not good enough to be noteworthy. The hiring of evil, cap-wearing mastermind Tony Pulis has changed expectations. Pulis made Stoke a force by hiring giant thugs and playing a brutal form of football; can he make the same transformation at uber-polite West Brom?
Stars: Saido Berahino was sporadically awesome last season, but combine his desire to play for a better team with his British passport -- in an effort to prevent ‘foreigners from ruining the game’ the Brits instituted a requirement that all teams have a certain number of British players, meaning the price and popularity of even mediocre English players gets drastically inflated -- and it’s unlikely that Berahino will still be a West Brom player come September 1 when the transfer window closes. Which will leave … someone, I’m sure.
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The only one of last season’s promoted teams to survive into a second season, Leicester started out strong, had a terrible middle, only to finish strong again. Their aim this season will be consistency.
Stars: The Foxes are another team of workmen-like players with no real superstars. Striker Leonardo Ulloa will look to improve on his decent form from the end of last season, but another offensive signing would certainly be welcomed.
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The single most self-destructive team in league, Newcastle was cruising to a comfortable mid-table finish last season when they fired relatively successful manager Alan Pardew for no real reason other than fans didn’t seem to want a Londoner managing a northern team. Pardew’s firing led to a final third of the season in which Newcastle simply kept losing, and losing badly. Their safety in the league wasn’t assured until the last day. The goal this year for proper northern manager Steve McClaren will be to erase the sense that his team is a laughingstock.
Stars: Despite the calamity of spring 2015, there are several good players on Newcastle, but really this season it’s all about McClaren. There remains a question of whether the manager is talented or has simply lucked into some good teams along the way. We shall see.
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Another team that seems to survive by the skin of its teeth, Sunderland spent a lot of last season being atrocious before being just good enough to survive. Their flirtation with the relegation zone this year largely depends on the weakness of those around them.
Stars: Jermain Defoe is an ageing striker from a bygone age but he’s the best they’ve got. Defoe is a legacy from a time when most team played with two strikers, usually one tall and one sneaky. Defoe was the sneaky one, but without a larger strike partner he can disappear for games at a time.
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Villa started last season under manager Paul Lambert, a man whose style of play was sometimes described as “eye-bleedingly dull.” Favoring a moderately effective defense at the expense of any attempt to attack at all, Lambert’s style was never popular, and last season it was also ineffective. He was replaced with Tim Sherwood, a man who would simply take too long to explain. The short version is that Sherwood is either an unassuming genius or a hilarious cartoon, a kind of British Homer Simpson as a soccer coach.
Stars: Aston just sold its best two players to Liverpool and Man City. Though they’ve spent a considerable amount to replace them, all of the signings (save defender Micah Richards) are untested in the league. Long serving striker Gabriel Agbonglahor remains at the club but isn’t getting any younger or faster.
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The first of the promoted teams, Bournemouth won the Championship (the league right below the Premier League) at a canter. Typically speaking this ends badly. The clubs that finish first, particularly with a runaway lead, tend to arrive in the EPL thinking that they’re ready for the challenge and make minimal additions. Bournemouth and its millionaire owner took the other path, spending big to keep their place. This same strategy bit Queens Park Rangers in the rear last season. Will Bournemouth do the same?
Stars: Striker Callum Wilson took the lower leagues by storm last season. Can he make an impact in the main event?
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Watford finished only two points behind Bournemouth last season, and in attempt to close that gap have gone even more signing-happy than their fellow promotees. However, unlike Bournemouth there is definitely a sense that Watford will be this season’s shambles. There’s always one team, and usually it’s one of the promoted teams, that is so out of their depth that they become the whipping boy for the rest of the league. This year, that honor will probably fall on Watford.
Stars: Watford has a young British striker, Troy Deeney, who tore up the Championship last season and will be hoping to repeat that in the EPL.
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The Canaries are the club, of the promoted three, who have been in the EPL most recently (the 2013-2014 season saw an end to a run of three seasons in the top flight). Where Watford seems to be poised for disaster, Norwich seem to be in the running to be this seasons hard-workers-that-just-aren’t-good-enough.
Stars: They have none, that’s part of the problem.
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