5 of the Most Obscene Fast Foods in America
Life + Money

5 of the Most Obscene Fast Foods in America

Burger King

Mike Bloomberg, the former mayor of New York, whose failed gambit to pull the pork off citizens too wide to fit in one subway seat by restricting sales of big jugs of sugary soft drinks, is out of office and out of the let’s-get-healthier business.

First Lady Michelle Obama is about to return to private life, taking her government-backed and largely ineffective campaign to reduce obesity among Americans, especially the young, with her.

Related: Michelle Obama’s Obesity Campaign Is a Big, Fat Flop

And Indira Nooyi, the PepsiCo CEO whose much-ballyhooed initiative to promote healthier choices from the company that stocks the shelves of supermarkets, 7-Elevens and corner stores with Pepsi, Mountain Dew, Lay’s potato chips and Doritos, among other products, has apparently rolled over for the latest fast-food obscenity aimed at folks eager to raise their cholesterol. (PepsiCo did not respond to a request for comment.)

Yes, we’re talking about Burger King’s new Mac n’ Cheetos, produced in concert with PepsiCo’s Frito-Lay unit. The sticks of macaroni and cheese, rolled in Cheetos dust and deep fried, will be available nationally on June 27, but only for eight weeks or until supplies are exhausted, according to Bloomberg News. A pack of 5 will go for $2.49.

Related: The Best and Worst Fast Food Restaurants of 2016

Burger King, which has been passed around like a bag of French fries, is now owned by Brazilian investment firm 3G and Berkshire Hathaway, the conglomerate controlled by milkshake-loving Warren Buffett. Earlier this year, it introduced a grilled Oscar Mayer hot dog, and BK President Alex Macedo told Bloomberg other cross-brand products may be offered down the road.

For its part, Frito-Lay has already partnered with Taco Bell, bringing the world the Doritos Locos Tacos, a taco with a Doritos-flavored shell. Only two years after it started offering them in 2012, Taco Bell had racked up more than $1 billion in sales and now more than a billion have been sold. 

Since there’s so much money to be made in what the website Eater calls “stunt food,” who knows where it will all end.

Maybe a deep-fried bacon cheeseburger with a Milky Way center on a bun studded with onion ring bits. Of course, you’ll want 5 pounds of Cheese Whiz fries with that.   

Don’t get your blood pressure up worrying. We’ll get there. But until then, you’ll have to settle for one of these gastronomic obscenities:

  1. Mac n’ Cheetos (Burger King)
    Deep-fried sticks of macaroni and gooey cheese with a Cheetos exterior.

  2. Doritos Locos Tacos (Taco Bell)
    Taco meat and fixins’ encased in a Dorito-flavored shell, which can be customized with such delicacies as “flamin’ hot Fritos.”

  3. Chicken-N-Tater Melt (Jack in the Box)
    A buttery croissant topped with crispy chicken, bacon, and hash browns smothered in a gooey blend of three cheeses and ranch sauce.

  4. Double Down (KFC)
    A sandwich that replaces bread with two pieces of fried chicken. Between the fillets are bacon, two kinds of melted cheese and “the Colonel's secret sauce.” An overseas version once had a hot dog stuffed between two pieces of fried chicken.

  5. Bacon Stuffed Crust Pizza (Pizza Hut)
    As described by Pizza Hut: “Bacon Stuffed Crust Pizza can be topped with …Mediterranean black olives, Peruvian cherry peppers, fresh mushrooms, fresh spinach, fresh red onions, fresh green bell peppers, sliced banana peppers, sweet pineapple, sliced jalapeño peppers, and diced roma tomatoes as well as pepperoni, Italian sausage, premium salami, classic meatballs, slow-roasted ham, hardwood smoked bacon, grilled chicken, beef and seasoned pork.”